Kelly Corrigan:Ah, it was so terrible. Kate Bowler:You put in a strong argument, if I may say it like that, for just being close to one another. Kelly Corrigan:Like, Oh, well we still have sex, so were definitely not going to get a divorce, or you know, Oh my husband doesnt travel, so then were definitely not gonna get a divorce, or you know, I never smoked cigarettes, so Im definitely not going to get breast cancer. Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said. Kelly Corrigan:I sat at my dining room table, which is place I never write, and I thought, Oh my God, of course I know exactly what this is. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. She's really just an overall great human being. I had to make it into a vest to remove it from my body with the tag still on it, you know? Kelly Corrigan:Its like a game changer. By creating an account, you acknowledge that PBS may share your information with our member stations and our respective service providers, and that you have read and understand the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Your mantra is fantastic and is sounds like it has served you well through the years! I have watched every episode on PBS and cannot get enough of the show Mrs Corrigan!!! Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. Ask anyone who has participated in a moment of silence. I guess everybody here, these children of mine and my husband, are just too damn busy to get on this, but Im not, so Ill do it, and then I was finishing, and I found a little pile of cut toenails on my kitchen table, and that. Kathy and her husband Tony have three children. Kelly Corrigan:Im telling you what, man, you can not believe how much I use this, and you can not believe how still it is not my natural instinct. Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. Shed do dishes all day and into the night to just get to listen to her children, just to get to watch them through a one-way glass, you know? So Kelly, welcome. Kate Bowler:I do think people offer certainties when they think that youre proof of something that scares them, and they cant just live in the uncertainty of not knowing for a minute. Kilpy Its really wonderful to learn more about you and hear the ways youve connected with Kate and the book. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. Its not in my family. I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. I should not be mad about this. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. Yeah. So Kelly, welcome. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling author, Kelly wonders about loads of stuff: is knowing more always good? I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. Thanks for sharing your personal motto. They hate it. Okay, great. Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. Constance shares her experiences as an actress in Hollywood both on and off screen: the privilege and responsibility of representation, being a true artist, navigating social media and an incident which took her to a very dark place.Special thanks to PBS for supporting Tell Me More and this podcast series. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. She lives in Philly and I live in California. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. The name is a lyric from . Yeah. I absolutely love that phrase. Team Everything Happens, Kate, Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. Shes not going to hold their babies.. Its probably cause of something youve been eating. Hosted by Tom Scharpling and featuring celebrity guests, music, callers, and plenty of surprises, The Best Show streams live every Tuesday night on Twitch at 6pm PT and is available on your podcast apps the next day. Just get in the mix, get in the line of fire. Despair defies description. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan is a series that inspires, educates and entertains. I was also living only maybe 10 miles from my very old grandma who lived alone, and I kept kind of meaning to go visit her, but its a lot easier to show up at work every day at the United Way, and get kind of righteous about all the people who work for money versus the rest of us who are working for the greater good, than it is to go to your grandmas smelly, weird apartment, and have weird conversations with an 88-year old, you know? Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we should be talking about five percent of the time. Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. Find me online at @KateCBowler, and Id love to hear what you think of this episode. Im so thankful I could be a fly on the wall and listen in on your conversation. Kelly Corrigan:I know, me too. Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. Kelly also hosts her own podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders, which she describes as a "place for people who like to laugh while they think." On the podcast, she tackles a different question every month in a series of weekly conversations with some of her favorite thinkers. Kelly Corrigan:You cant be in the world, and get through your to-do list, and also sit in endless, rich gratitude. I was wrong not to go visit her. Kelly Corrigan:Theyre never going to not do that, and thats how theyre going to raise their kids, and that means shes still here. She's an author.
Advice to graduates: Just ask questions Okay, great. I had to make it into a vest to remove it from my body with the tag still on it, you know? Maya Shankars Plus One is Christy Warren, a former first responder with 25 years of experience in the field. Recently I coined maintain the faith, exit with grace. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. Kate Bowler:Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Its all this cumulative effect of a thousand minuscule moments. with Kelly Corrigan When bestselling author Kelly Corrigan experienced the death of her dad and dear friend back-to-back, she couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't living as gratefully as she wanted to. I need to hear what your motto is. Whos going to do this? Show Kelly Corrigan Wonders, Ep Kelly's Gratitude List - Nov 25, 2022 Kate Bowler:Theres this other phrase, I was wrong, that has real power, and you learned that in a really intense way when your grandma died. She plans to give it to her daughter, who graduates from high school in June.. Simply becauseIts like this or, my current favorite: Its a species behavior., Nan, Find me online at @KateCBowler, and Id love to hear what you think of this episode. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. They hate it. Read more on this here. Kate Bowler:Getting back to life has been really tricky. Onwards, but you use it so beautifully when youre talking about Lizs family and how they are now. Kelly Corrigan:Hearts dont idle. Kate Bowler:Words matter. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. Kelly shares her own "go to" mantra as well as two blessings from frequent Kelly Corrigan Wonders guest Kate Bowler and her co-author/friend/podcast producer Jessica Richie's beautiful and extremely useful book: The Lives We Actually Have (100 Blessings for Imperfect Days). What a unique family motto! Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere.
Everything Happens : NPR Like, Today could be this day, well, you know, today I met you, now were friends, and who knows whats going to happen now? This is one of the most moving and important conversations weve ever shared and we thank PBS for supporting this work as well as the Lafayette Library and Learning Center for hosting the shoot. A huge thank you to Mahra (the song she sings is from When I Drink by The Avett Brothers), Riham, and Cheryl who shared their family mottos with us. Kelly Corrigan:And Im getting to walk with them way longer on their road, and I felt this sense that I could never possibly deserve that, that Im not that great a person, or a mom. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. Thank you for adding to the number of not-normal, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat people in the world. Kate Bowler:Well, the quote that really resonated with me is when you said, They are moving onward, not away from you, but with you. So, I kind of wondered if there was a motto youd pick for you for right now, what would it be? Kate Bowler:I need to hear what your motto is. Please note that this episode references addiction and suicide. Kate Bowler:Yeah, the indignity. Kate Bowler:So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. You wrote this book in a season of incredible loss. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. Kelly Corrigan:Hey, thanks for having me. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. Warmly, This is the way this has to be, and its right there. He shares what draws him to people, how he writes them into stories and how openness and vulnerability are key elements to finding a strong character. Its remarkable to hear a bit of your story and Im really grateful that youve shared it with us. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. Take care, Thats like total vanity but, especially with the kids, I definitely think, Edward and I both think, If you let us run this out for you, well get it done like one, two, three, and thats so humiliating, and degrading, and just the opposite of self-esteem building, which is sort of like the ground we walk on as adults. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. Yeah. Kilpy Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. Thanks very much for all you do. And Ive talked to a couple of my girlfriends whove gotten divorced, and they say the exact same thing happens to them. Kelly Corrigan:Sure, my pleasure. I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. You say something thats so weird cause I say it all the time, so when I read it I thought, Did you reach inside my brain? You adopted the phrase, Onward as a bit of a motto. I really appreciate it. Shed do anything. I mean, I dont know why you went with, Everything Happens for a Reason, because Dont get crumbs on the baby, that could be the follow up. Kilpy My mantra for the last decade plus has been show up and be of use. CW: death of parent, death of friend to cancer. Absolutely enjoy these, the wisdom, the calm, the gentle reminder of our true reality and the essentiality of the connections we make and need to survive and help each other. It was because I had been selfish, and my dad caught me. I should not be mad about this. So now if a family member is being difficult or misbehaving, we have established ground rules, So and so is family and we dont sell family! Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. He is also the father to three great characters, including Dixie, who was killed in a head on collision in May of 2021. Read more about this episode, and get show notes, here. Follow Kelly on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Mahra:Ive been singing these lines from a song by the Avett Brothers to my kids for years, and it goes like this. Thanks For Being Here Mary Hope's Letter Introducing Alex. If you haven't heard of Father Greg Boyle, let us introduce you: a Jesuit priest who has a touch of Santa Claus in his affect, Greg Boyle has collaborated with thousands of former gang members to build thriving businesses and communities of radical acceptance in East LA. You can follow the conversation with Kelly on Instagram @kellycorrigan. I rebelled. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. Kate Bowler:Well I think part of it, and this gets to another phrase that you write about which is I dont know, but you and I, it sounds like, have given up on certainties as a way to cope with that, both having been through cancer, and also I think both realizing that people really dont like it when you say, I dont know.. We are so glad that you joined us for this conversation and found it enjoyable. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? Kelly Corrigan:Hey, thanks for having me. I mean, Im totally coming to see you. Its the motto I live by when my opportunities are too big, and my capacity and capabilities too small. Kate, Now, eleven years post-cancer, Im still learning to show up and be of use in my life, my marriage, my family and my work for the display of His splendor. More lessons learned. I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. The successes of independent and feminist Marie Antoinette provoke jealousy and rivalry. The Best Show is the best live podcast you're ever gonna hear! So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. I was wrong not to try to ease her days in some way.. Kate Bowler:Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. What do we do when the labels we're given aren't necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. Kelly Corrigan:So, she had to call someone and ask them to come over and zip her dress so she could go to the wedding. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. Thats where its at. Kelly Corrigan:They hate it. Thanks For Being Here Remembering Ryland. I didnt engage with her. You talk about not having good language for your current state. Kate Bowler:Well, the one that we sort of settled on most was, Dont let the turkeys get you down, cause we were all deeply unpopular children, but it did make me think about mottos, and how it sort of defines the season that we live in. Kelly shares a graduation speech, a conversation about takeaways from high school with her daughter and a special reading with Oscar winning actress Helen Hunt. Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. Diane, Okay. Kelly Corrigan:And I should not lose my mind over a shirt I bought on final sale section that didnt fit even though I tried to pull it over myself, and then it got stuck on me, and I had to cut it off with scissors. And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. When bestselling author Kelly Corrigan experienced the death of her dad and dear friend back-to-back, she couldnt shake the feeling that she wasnt living as gratefully as she wanted to. Today, were sharing this letter which Mary Hope wrote to officially introduce Alex because we find the kindness, transparency and unconditional love in it to be so inspiring. Nobody who is between identities they can tolerate does, it seems to me something Ive actively struggled with and expect to go hand to hand with again, whether tomorrow or the day after. Constance Wu and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. We read and appreciate every comment. Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. The space between doubt and belief is often unpopular, but the tension can be held. Each episode ends with Kellys shortlist of takeaways, appropriate for refrigerator doors, bulletin boards and notes to your children. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it.
Kelly Corrigan Full Transcript - Kate Bowler Ryland shined brightly - especially in the darkest places. I mean, I remember thinking, when I wasnt sure, when I was in an especially tough moment of illness, every time I would look at Zachs nails I would think, Is this what wouldve happened if I hadnt been here to do this? I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, sometimes the trivial is tragic. Kelly mentions the Potted Plant Theory of Parenting. Michael Lewis on What Makes Some People Irreplaceable. The idea that we just sort of wander around, consume things until we die, like were just a series of small appetites without any deep, rich, meaningful, satisfying connection. Kelly Corrigan Full Transcript - Kate Bowler Everything Happens with Kate Bowler Kelly Corrigan: Tell Me More 30 00:00:00 30 Read more about this episode, and get show notes, here. Kareem means generous. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. For awhile, Id say shed been robbed, or ripped off. Team Everything Happens, Kate, I love that youre human- that you cry as easily as I do and that you say youre not normal as often as I do (me about myself of course!). And Ive talked to a couple of my girlfriends whove gotten divorced, and they say the exact same thing happens to them. Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. Kelly Corrigan is the best-selling author of "Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say," and a proud graduate of the University of Richmond. I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show dives deep into each guest's life to pull out poignant lessons they hope others can use to find their own calling. Kate Bowler:You and I are super chatty people, but you make an amazing pitch for silence, and I am all for it, because everyone always had these go-to things to say with me like, You can do it, or Youre so brave, and all the things that made me feel like I was on the other side of plexiglass. Make the magic happen. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Team Everything Happens, Hi Kate, Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Our family motto is, We dont sell family. When our dog was a puppy and being housebroken, he kept sneaking around piddling in the corners of rooms. Kate Bowler:Theres this other phrase, I was wrong, that has real power, and you learned that in a really intense way when your grandma died. I was wrong not to try to know her, and I could just see it in his face that it was like, Okay, you understand. Kelly Corrigan:Well, chop-chop kid. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. Kelly Corrigan:And so I didnt do it. They swell, and constrict, and break, and forgive, and behold, because its like this, having a heart. My son was, of course, distraught and felt the dog was a part of the family and worth the trouble. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kate is a young mother, writer and professor who, at age 35, was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. I think we make life a little more interesting! Its like this now seems like a helpful way to process changethanks for offering that up . Can we trust our gut? Michael Murray on the Social Science of Faith Kelly Corrigan Wonders. Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Kelly Corrigan Wonders listeners will be familiar with Alexs story as we shared it in the episode A Mother Son Story of the Ultimate Transition and it was also replayed it in the For the Good of the Order feed. Being a runner, this has always been meaningful for me. I hope you continue sharing your thoughts and joining in the conversation! Mom, we cant sell family, right? I looked at this sweet-natured adorable little puppy and acquiesced. Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Follow Kate on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. 5-Minute Listen. May you find Christ, comfort, and companions amidst the questions! As Teri said, He didnt have a drug problem, he had a life problem. I mean, that means shes with them. We can remove the first video in the list to add this one. Thanks for sharing, Diane! Just see who you can bump into out there. Jennifer Garner tells Kelly Corrigan how she inspires others to find their true passions. Team Everything Happens. Thank You for all you do!! Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. Rocky is family, and we dont sell family, I replied. Their oldest, Aaron was killed in a car accident 20 summers ago, just after his freshman year in college. Kelly Corrigan:And then she died, and my dad called, and my dad had nothing but positive things to say to me my entire life, and he said, You should have gone to see your grandmother more. She has a beloved podcast called Everything Happens. Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake.
Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Everything Happens for a - Apple Podcasts Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Both Kate and Kelly are remarkable women and in tandem they make for great listening. You start with, Its like this.. Im not sure where the bar is set at in normalcy though. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show features insightful conversations with notable guests, reflecting on their lives and the impact they can have on their worlds. -Kilpy I end up saying to my therapy clients, to my friends, and to my daughter both Change is hard and the stage-specific version of CIH, Middles are awful. Middles are awful: we have to either find language for an ambiguous state or give up on finding it: hard, sweaty work.
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